ON TRYING TO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER
Today, I gave myself permission to give up.
I’m not helping this world anymore.
That’s not like me, but in my defense, everyone else gave up first.
I’ll take the pills.
I’ll take the bath.
Maybe try again tomorrow.
If the courage comes back.
Lately I feel like some kind of over-sized colander.
Unable to keep positive feelings close.
Happiness slips quietly away through the holes in my soul.
I try to hold on, but everything’s already down the drain.
Fall in love with sunbeams every morning and starlight every evening.
There is still beauty here. It’s often not in people, but in blank spaces around us.
Happy tears taste better than sad ones.
Maybe we could all learn to live off drinking this joy.
When I say that you are my everything, I mean every single little thing.
You were always a friend, then more, then nothing, now more again, still more.
My “I like you” and my “I love you”.
My good morning and my good night.
My gentlest critic and most avid cheerleader.
You are my nourishment and the person that takes most of my energy.
You bring out my best, but handle my worst.
You were the one I ran away from and then the one I reached for.
You went the opposite way reached and then ran.
We’ve come full circle now; finally both reaching.
And I’ve loved you through it all.
When you cook for me, my stomach swells.
When you read me to seep, my brain expands.
When we try new things, my realm of understanding broadens.
The more I love you, the more my heart grows.
I’ve gained 15 pounds since you; it’s all the cooking, I think.
But I am expanding in more ways than one.
And all this extra “weight” looks good on me.
Give me all the parts of you that you do not love today.
Let me keep them safe.
I will give them back when you are ready to treat yourself better.
Only when you are ready to love these things you see as flaws.
Until then, let me hold on to you for you.
FLOWERS LIKE ME
Let me outside so I can soak in the sun.
I could eat its warmth, let it nourish my summer soul.
Give me rain next so I can quench my thirst for the outdoors.
Wash the inside world off my skin.
Let me toes soak into the sticky hug Mother Earth gives after rain.
For mud is the last item on my grocery list.
I love this grounding. Standing in nature, ridding myself of the inside.
Of the dust and the thermostat-powered weather – trade it for real dirt and wind.
Sun, rain, mud. Over and over.
I have the same needs as a plant, really.
For I am a wildflower, to keep me inside is a shame.
I need more room to grow.
THE ONLY LOVE THAT WILL NEVER HURT
Try to fall in love every single day.
Fall in love with as many things as possible and seek out new things to love all the time.
Love your toast in the morning. Love the radio station DJ.
Love the movie, the book, the video game, the dress, the nail polish, the sweet tea.
Loving things that can’t love you back will never hurt.
It only makes life more beautiful.
Pay attention and adore all the insane loveliness, no matter how small and you’ll find happiness everywhere.
There’s no harm in loving objects that can’t love you back.
There’s only harm in loving people who can’t love you back.