Here lies another creative update. These came out every two months for a while, but then I hit a bit of a lull. My mental health took a dip; I wasn’t feeling confident or creative in my work, life, or blog spaces. My first few updates weren’t amazing to begin with, looking back it’s easy to tell I was not feeling amazing about myself or creativity in general.
Things got hard. Reading was hard, writing was harder, creativity beyond that was impossible. *I started going to therapy every other week in July and was put on an antidepressant. I feel much better now and I think my creativity and attitude reflect that in a big way. There’s a short burst of non-theme and non-book related info there, but I quite like my therapist and love how my medicine makes me feel. My anxiety has dissipated to such an insanely low level that I actually feel equipped to handle problems for the first time in forever maybe. I just wanted to mention that to normalize it. This isn’t a mental health post, but I have added a tab called “Musings” to the blog. Again – I think that’s because creativity is getting easier now that I feel better. I’m starting to be more confident branching out. There’s some travel there and a post about having alone time. Will probably put some mental health posts there in the future. :)))
This is basically a post bragging about my rudimentary watercoloring skills.
Watercoloring has been my favorite way to create as of late. It used to be coloring books, because I did not have the energy to do anything but just try to stay in the lines. I’m sure you will remember if you’re an active reader all my photos of crude, cuss word coloring pages. My creativity mirrored my life in that I was just trying to keep my head above water in both. Not really striving for anything great or new or far-reaching. Painting is difficult as crap. I do not know how to make the colors go where I want them to. My brush is always too wet or too dry, but the motions are lovely and soothing. When things accidentally look beautiful, that’s really nice too. I used to paint my legs a lot, because I didn’t want to keep anything I made. I thought, “This obviously it won’t be great, so why keep it?” Not only do I keep my water colors, but I have also given a few away. Not to toot my own horn, but it’s nice to make something that’s accidentally pretty and be proud of that accomplishment. I look forward to getting better and trying to paint in more ways.
I want to get back into body paint; it makes me feel beautiful. I want to do some kind of aggressive throwing paint or finger painting; actions more intense than swirling a brush. I want to take a class on flower arranging and make my own soap or bread or something!
Creativity is picking back up, and I could not be happier. My last bookish post on creativity took a lot out of me. I cried, I sulked, I rewatched episodes of Tony just to see him again. I have been a little beat down by missing him and am excited to have the courage to pick up another book for the theme soon. This is a book blog after all. With a splash of painting, apparently.